Remnants Resurface

I do not want to know
But somehow
Time
Has its way
Through accidental glimpses

Are they accidents?
Are accidents even real?
I try
To cover my eyes
Hide my mind

Still
Remnants of you resurface

Your presence
Lingers
As they creep up
Silently
Too late to stop

Making its way carelessly
Stepping through cracks
Visiting facts
Replaying such acts

Will I ever get away?
From your shadows of relay
and
Accidental display

Wait

Hey Bloggers!

We all have waited, waited for something and someone. When we wait, we are either ordered to stay put or do something. When we are asked to watch and wait, what happens? We tend to get impatient, frustrated, and angry. Several questions run through our beautiful minds: “What happens next?” “When will it happen” “Is it even worth waiting for?” These phrases fill our minds, and we lose hope. We lose sight of the bigger things God has in store for us. We start to settle and force situations that are not part of His plan, causing a delay to our destination.

Then an offer comes. Someone comes. Something comes. And we are thrilled because finally they have arrived. However, they are part of the trial. They are part of God’s challenge for you, and they are not where you are meant to stay. Our hearts are excited because we made ourselves believe that “this is it”, but they are merely a trial. So, when we are back to waiting, we question God’s plans, making us believe that maybe we have to do something or maybe we are not doing enough. However, no matter how hard we try, we still end up waiting.

Waiting for a response, that flicker of hope that lets us know that our wait will soon be over. Make believe signals we craft in our minds giving us something to hold on to, while we are walking into uncertainty. The only thing we are definite about is the fact that something or someone is worth the wait, and even that is not enough to satisfy our thirst for answers. We want to examine the specifics, the who, what, where, when, why, how…

You see waiting is an oxymoron. We wait and we feel constant, however, what is going on in our minds is really a roller coaster. For time it is constant, linear ticking of clock, but for our impatient minds and hearts we are on a ride of hope, fear, promise, and despair. The truth of the matter is in fact: you are not just simply waiting; your faith and patience are being polished. You are being prepared for the next big thing.

This is jasminedelacerna, signing off ❤

When You Left…

Hey wordpressers,

            Couple of years ago, leaving was mutual. I remembered being on the couch with my past and we decided that it was time to move on. Looking at the clock ticked away, I watched the hand move. It was not even 7 yet. However, we knew it was time to say goodbye. The very thing I remembered, in which I actually wrote a poem about few years later, was sitting on the couch with my past. Then, he stood up, got his backpack, ready to leave. I stood up and hugged him. The very last one I can get from him, and then I let go.

Watched him descend from the stair steps. I remembered holding on to myself that time. I sobbed and cried alone on the couch. It was my first heartbreak. My first official end of a relationship. Listening to him put on his shoes ready to leave my house; it was like the scratching of nails on a chalkboard. It was dreadful.

On what was on my mind during the event, I do not remember. It was like I did not think of anything but focused on my heartbreak, and the end of my relationship. It was very difficult.

The pros of leaving was letting go of an unhealthy relationship. Breaking free of the “clinginess” I brought myself into. Lastly, it made me closer to God and my family. The cons… well the cons were the flashbacks I am dealing with currently.

Even now three years later, my mind still remembers and contemplates. This is something I am going to admit and only to you my readers, maybe… just maybe… I am not over him. However, I have moved on. I have accepted that… that was the end of the relationship. But every day he is on my mind, and sometimes he has cameo appearances in my dreams.

He left my life, but my mind has clung to him. No matter how hard I try to push those memories aside and erase him from my daily thoughts, he still shows up, and I do not know when this will stop. I tried. I still am trying…

This is jasminedelacerna, signing off ❤

To learn more about photographs, poetry, and proses about leaving: click here