Find Your Voice in Silence

Hey Bloggers!

How do you talk to someone, when you cannot even find your own voice? You want to be heard, but you are unable to make out a single word. Mind of yours is full of thoughts and ideas, but your mouth is silent. You feel that pull from your mind “that control” to step back from verbal expression, and you wonder whether you are just engineered to be a thinker and writer… nothing more.

You speak and your words sound forced and rehearsed. Words are your friend, only if it is read, heard, or written, but once it is spoken, it becomes a stranger: a stranger with no intentions of identifying your verbal competency. Talking to you is only used for simple responses such as: Good, I’m Fine, How About You, and Thank You. Even a simple “hello” is difficult to enunciate.

A smile is the best you can do. It eliminates the dilemma of topics to talk about, the measure of its interest level, expectation of feedbacks, and ultimately the risk of being judged by word choices, expressions, and opinions. Silence literally saves you. It saves you from your careless mouth, the listening ears, and the factory of accompanying adversities.

This is jblogger, signing off ❤

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Who Cares?

You write who cares if nobody reads it?
You read who cares if they hear it?
You listen who cares if you only hear silence?
You are silent who cares if everybody’s talking?
It is loud who cares if your head is pounding?
Who cares?
Do they notice?
Do they know?
Do they care?
Yes and No
But does it matter?
Will it make a difference?
Change your perspective
To know your audience
Who cares?
Everybody?
Nobody?
Somebody?
Do you care?

Yes and No
Yes
I do
Promising
No
I do not
Heartbreaking
Does it matter?
You write
For applause or for a cause
You read
Books to learn or burn
You listen
For silence or an audience
Who cares?
If nobody is listening
Will you stop writing?
If nobody cares
Will you start crying?
No
Because you
You also do not care
You just write
Read
Listen
For nothing
Or
Yes
Because you
You care
About everything

 

When You Left…

Hey wordpressers,

            Couple of years ago, leaving was mutual. I remembered being on the couch with my past and we decided that it was time to move on. Looking at the clock ticked away, I watched the hand move. It was not even 7 yet. However, we knew it was time to say goodbye. The very thing I remembered, in which I actually wrote a poem about few years later, was sitting on the couch with my past. Then, he stood up, got his backpack, ready to leave. I stood up and hugged him. The very last one I can get from him, and then I let go.

Watched him descend from the stair steps. I remembered holding on to myself that time. I sobbed and cried alone on the couch. It was my first heartbreak. My first official end of a relationship. Listening to him put on his shoes ready to leave my house; it was like the scratching of nails on a chalkboard. It was dreadful.

On what was on my mind during the event, I do not remember. It was like I did not think of anything but focused on my heartbreak, and the end of my relationship. It was very difficult.

The pros of leaving was letting go of an unhealthy relationship. Breaking free of the “clinginess” I brought myself into. Lastly, it made me closer to God and my family. The cons… well the cons were the flashbacks I am dealing with currently.

Even now three years later, my mind still remembers and contemplates. This is something I am going to admit and only to you my readers, maybe… just maybe… I am not over him. However, I have moved on. I have accepted that… that was the end of the relationship. But every day he is on my mind, and sometimes he has cameo appearances in my dreams.

He left my life, but my mind has clung to him. No matter how hard I try to push those memories aside and erase him from my daily thoughts, he still shows up, and I do not know when this will stop. I tried. I still am trying…

This is jasminedelacerna, signing off ❤

To learn more about photographs, poetry, and proses about leaving: click here