This is my first blog, and it is already getting personal. Ha! Definitely making the best of this.
I have my shared moments of regrets, brokenness, and crazy. Those never left my mind though. They are not just a memory where people can retrieve over time. Flashbacks force me to remember them, and it feels like my mind keeps going through them. For whatever reason, I do not know, but maybe I have a lot more lessons to learn than I think.
They usually make me feel bitter about myself. Because those oh… so… precious memories are not very precious. They are my imperfections, faults, and sometimes the good times too. Well… about 90% precious and 10% “junk”.
Writing I noticed that my prose and poems consisted of the past. Probably because I have never been to the future before, so there is not much to talk about in the fast forward realm other than my goals, hopes, and dreams, and I had a lot of that growing up, as I scribble on my paper on “what I want to become when I grow up” in elementary school.
However, the past… that I could retrieve and talk about. Even if every single one of my will is against it. I seem to focus on the ancient history of life and events. Probably because even though the past is excruciating to watch and remember, they are familiar and my mind finds comfort in familiarity oh… so… very much. So I guess you could say that my mind is obsessed with the comfort of the excruciating past. Yup, that sounds about right.
You will be reading a lot of past and present experiences and futures hopes in this blog. Mostly mine, but they are always universal. I do not go into personal details about my own experience, generality is such a beauty, so why waste it?
This is Jasmine De La Cerna, Signing Off ❤