When You Left…

Hey wordpressers,

            Couple of years ago, leaving was mutual. I remembered being on the couch with my past and we decided that it was time to move on. Looking at the clock ticked away, I watched the hand move. It was not even 7 yet. However, we knew it was time to say goodbye. The very thing I remembered, in which I actually wrote a poem about few years later, was sitting on the couch with my past. Then, he stood up, got his backpack, ready to leave. I stood up and hugged him. The very last one I can get from him, and then I let go.

Watched him descend from the stair steps. I remembered holding on to myself that time. I sobbed and cried alone on the couch. It was my first heartbreak. My first official end of a relationship. Listening to him put on his shoes ready to leave my house; it was like the scratching of nails on a chalkboard. It was dreadful.

On what was on my mind during the event, I do not remember. It was like I did not think of anything but focused on my heartbreak, and the end of my relationship. It was very difficult.

The pros of leaving was letting go of an unhealthy relationship. Breaking free of the “clinginess” I brought myself into. Lastly, it made me closer to God and my family. The cons… well the cons were the flashbacks I am dealing with currently.

Even now three years later, my mind still remembers and contemplates. This is something I am going to admit and only to you my readers, maybe… just maybe… I am not over him. However, I have moved on. I have accepted that… that was the end of the relationship. But every day he is on my mind, and sometimes he has cameo appearances in my dreams.

He left my life, but my mind has clung to him. No matter how hard I try to push those memories aside and erase him from my daily thoughts, he still shows up, and I do not know when this will stop. I tried. I still am trying…

This is jasminedelacerna, signing off ❤

To learn more about photographs, poetry, and proses about leaving: click here

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Progression and Growth

Hey wordpressers,

            We all mature at some point. Growing is the inevitable part of life. Children acts like adults, while adults want to look younger. I guess that is the irony of youth and growth. I am 20 now, not a teenager anymore, however not quite an adult. So in short I am in the midst of confusion. Hehe! No in all seriousness, I am going through the “in the middle”, perhaps some people call it progression.

            As I mature, I observe lots of introspection going through my mind and emotions. I evaluate how I feel or sometimes, evaluation just goes naturally that I combine it with imaginations. They very much contraindicate with each other. Introspection enables me to examine my realities and my histories, while my imagination lets me create scenarios to make up for my inadequacies or a lack of thrill in my life.

           I know I sound very ungrateful. Life is full of suspense: the making or becoming to be better or for complete restoration. I guess we are all carved every single day, to be prepared for certain moments. However, I believe I am carved in order to be presented, and then broken down again once it is over.

           However, I am doing the best I can to cherish life, because I am only 20 once. Soon, I am older and I want to look back and think about these moments where youth is still in the air. Hopefully, I will make more memories that are unlike any other.

            Stagnation is what I dread, but I know every day I am progressing. I believe nobody ever stays the same. We all experience different things in life and we may not notice them as we are moving along, but when we look back in the future, these little things are going to become the most precious memories. So enjoy life and make memories.

This is Jasmine De La Cerna, Signing Off ❤