When You Left…

Hey wordpressers,

            Couple of years ago, leaving was mutual. I remembered being on the couch with my past and we decided that it was time to move on. Looking at the clock ticked away, I watched the hand move. It was not even 7 yet. However, we knew it was time to say goodbye. The very thing I remembered, in which I actually wrote a poem about few years later, was sitting on the couch with my past. Then, he stood up, got his backpack, ready to leave. I stood up and hugged him. The very last one I can get from him, and then I let go.

Watched him descend from the stair steps. I remembered holding on to myself that time. I sobbed and cried alone on the couch. It was my first heartbreak. My first official end of a relationship. Listening to him put on his shoes ready to leave my house; it was like the scratching of nails on a chalkboard. It was dreadful.

On what was on my mind during the event, I do not remember. It was like I did not think of anything but focused on my heartbreak, and the end of my relationship. It was very difficult.

The pros of leaving was letting go of an unhealthy relationship. Breaking free of the “clinginess” I brought myself into. Lastly, it made me closer to God and my family. The cons… well the cons were the flashbacks I am dealing with currently.

Even now three years later, my mind still remembers and contemplates. This is something I am going to admit and only to you my readers, maybe… just maybe… I am not over him. However, I have moved on. I have accepted that… that was the end of the relationship. But every day he is on my mind, and sometimes he has cameo appearances in my dreams.

He left my life, but my mind has clung to him. No matter how hard I try to push those memories aside and erase him from my daily thoughts, he still shows up, and I do not know when this will stop. I tried. I still am trying…

This is jasminedelacerna, signing off ❤

To learn more about photographs, poetry, and proses about leaving: click here


Random Thoughts…

Hey wordpressers,

I finished reading “The Moon and More” by Sarah Dessen 10 minutes ago, and now I am in the midst of debating which books to read. I have 5 audio books waiting for my attention, and lots of books waiting on iBooks. However, I cannot seem to figure what to read next.

Maybe I am just indecisive. It is only 12:08 am in the morning. I know too early to bed right? So I wanted to read something new, now that I just finished the book that I have been reading for a month now, but cannot seem to make up my mind on what to read.

Tomorrow will decide for me. Now though, I am writing. I read/finished a book today, so I guess it is just right to write. Ha! Did not even know that would rhyme. Hehe! So for now, I am writing, a thought or something random.

My mind is always wide awake at night. I am a night person, and so are my parents. My father would stay up past midnight, because he has readings to do (sometimes thick books from Robert Ludlum and mostly of his work). I remember those times when I was still young. All the lights are down; while a crack shines beneath the closed door he is in.

As for my mother, she too is a night person. She works as a night nurse, and is usually up before the dawn breaks during her off times. I guess that makes me and my siblings night people too.

For now, I guess I have to wrap up and write some poetry.

This is jasminedelacerna, signing off ❤